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- Pastor Deacon
Fred, (Chris Harper) from Landover Baptist Church, gives a hilarious
fire & brimstone sermon to all the atheist "sinners."
This sermon particularly upset the Christians on the sidelines;
they began to yell into their bullhorns to the point that the
police had to control them. Visit Landover Baptist Church at:
- In the sermon
Pastor Fred delivered this prayer:
- Dear Lord,
I know that I am worthless and a constant source of irritation
to you. Thank you for not killing me today and flinging my limp
corpse into the flames of the sadistic Hell you created. As a
True Christian, I love you with all my heart, convenience permitting,
and am only glad your nasty temper was not turned on me today.
- Lord Jesus,
I know that your love is unconditional. All you ask is that I
do everything you demand and flatter you regularly and
without shame or regard to the mess you make of everything you
try to create.
- Even though
you made some noise about giving away all our possessions to
the poor, please guide your Republican party to effect that which
you most desire tax cuts for folks rich enough to tithe.
- In this I
- Your humble
- Oh, and while
I have you, Jesus, I really want me one of them new Lexus two
door automobiles. So please call on me to withdraw sufficient
funds from the tax-free coffers of Landover Baptist Church's
offshore accounts so that you may bless me with the leather upgrade
and onboard navigation.
- For a complete
transcript of the sermon, go to: http://www.landoverbaptist.org/sermons/GMOW.html
- To listen to
an audio recording (from DMR Diversions) of the sermon, click